Back Story: Up front

Something I think that’s really important for the success of ciekaikai, is honesty. I want a certain level of transparency between my readers and myself, everything up front.


I’m 24 years old and something I’ve struggled with most of my life is depression and the anxiety that usually trails behind. Different people deal with depression and anxiety in many different ways, because it can manifest itself in so many different ways. That’s something I want to get out into the open from the very beginning, my depression might be different from your depression.

Here are some of the things I generally deal with on a daily basis

  • feelings of lethargy and demotivation
  • no concern for the future
  • pulling away from the ones I love
  • feeling like I’m constantly on auto-pilot
  • and being an extroverted introvert (or is it an introverted extrovert? )

There are a bazillion people in the world living with depression right now, well according to the Ministry of Health it’s actually about 1 in 4. That’s almost 9 million Canadians living with depression every day. Here’s the thing, a lot of those people don’t “seem depressed”. We often try to “seem okay” to not worry others or to even try and convince ourselves that we’re not as depressed as we really are. Internalizing things is not usually successful. I urge you to reach out for help from someone who cares about your well-being.

This is a small snippet of me, and something I’ve dealt with all my life. And I, more than anything want others who are fighting a similar battle as me to realize they are not alone; and that in fact living a highly functional life with depression is possible, it just takes time and persistence.


** please note I did not refer to anxiety as much in this post. Thus far in my life, the two have gone hand in hand, so when I refer to depression I also refer to anxiety**


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