Diary: Learning To Gamble On Myself

I apologize in advance if this article feels as though it’s a roundabout, this was sort of a brain dump exercise for myself.

I have a problem. I know I have it; even with knowing what my issue is I still find it paralyzing. They say that acknowledgment/acceptance is the first step to fixing a problem, and I definitely agree but sometimes it becomes easy to fall into a rut because of our acknowledgments, does that make sense? You essentially blame all these little faults for being how you are and stay where you are instead of recognizing them and moving through them. It’s almost like a coping mechanism.

My problem is I’m stationary, treading water. There are some changes I need to make in my life to move forward and get where I want to go/be but somehow I find it nearly impossible to move from my little corner.

I’m not good at taking life risks. Maybe I should make a to-do list of all the things that scare me and just cross them off one by one. I feel as though that would be the easiest no?

It’s funny because it’s not as if I don’t WANT to take these risks but they could lead to change and the unknown. Basically, I’m being little butt head that needs to man up and move forward.

The Big Idea

I don’t gamble, based on the previous text you know I mean in life (and literally). But if I were to gamble wouldn’t it make sense to gamble on myself. I know what I’m capable of. I know I’m capable of countless amazing things, with the past to prove it, and yet it’s almost as if I don’t trust my abilities. Whenever I’m inclined to make a change or take a risk I almost immediately psych myself out with:

“What if you’re not good enough”
“What if someone’s better than you”
“What if you feel foolish after you do this”

What if, what if, what if, that shits going to get me nowhere.
-If you’re not good enough well now you know for sure and now you can acquire the skills you need to be better suited for whatever it is you’re doing.
-Someone will always be better than you, but you will always be better than someone else, demeaning comparisons will get you nowhere so just go.
-Feeling foolish is part of life’s lessons, that’s just inevitable.

Gambling on yourself opens you up to possibility. It’s the green light to start moving and getting to where you want to be. Gambling doesn’t always have positive outcomes but sometimes it does, and if you know how capable you are why not just take the risk?
(just a little one)

Feel free to leave any advice or insight into a similar issue, let’s help one another!

Learning to move forward,

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