Recently I’ve been put in a couple of odd situations, and these situations happen to be what are inspiring this post. I’d like to think of myself as pretty laid back, and a person that doesn’t really get offended easily. However, like the normal person, I think there’s a certain level of courtesy people need to uphold between one another. This is my short list of things you should try to avoid saying to other people (unless of course you’re super familiar with them and know they won’t freak out or be mad if you do)
This seems like a no-brainer but apparently it isn’t as within the last week I’ve had two, not just one, people tell me I’ve gained a little weight. Not sure when it became anybody else’s business but apparently they felt they should let me know. News flash- if you can tell I’ve gained weight chances are so can I, shocking I know. When I received these comments I wasn’t mad that they thought I had gained weight, I was mad they didn’t have the courtesy to hold back their comments. Secondly, note how the header isn’t weight gain comments but weight related, telling someone they look good from losing weight isn’t always right either. They could be ill and losing weight without wanting to and you could be reminding them of what they’re dealing with. I think the clearest way to say this is unless someone has very unmistakeably and without a shred of doubt indicated that they want you to tell them, you should probably just hold your tongue because guess what? Their weight is none of your damn business.
2. “You Look Tired”
Am I the only one who feels they mainly get this comment when they aren’t wearing makeup? I swear whenever I go a little makeup free I get this comment. Maybe you’re ok with this comment, but think about it, it’s the furthest thing from a compliment. You might as well just say, “Hey you look like shit” that would be a lot more direct. Some may argue that it’s a way of showing your concern, however, there are much nicer ways of doing this. Just ask how someone is doing, and I’m sure they’ll tell you if they’re tired or not. A simple way of caring without insulting them first.
3. But WHY are you anxious? What do you have to be depressed about?
I have a nice life. I’ll be the first person to admit that I’ve got it good. I try not to take advantage of that. So when people discover, or I tell them, that I live with depression and anxiety people seem to think you need to have a reason, otherwise it’s just all in your head. Unsure where these thoughts came from but, you DO NOT need a REASON to be depressed or anxious it is physically possible for these awful conditions to affect you without reason. I hate when people ask me why; if I knew why I’ probably be using this knowledge to fix it. Asking these questions sort of trivializes what this person is going through and that’s the last thing they want. People struggling need support, not your misunderstanding. It’s normal to not understand if you haven’t dealt with these feelings but just be wary of how you ask someone.
I know it seems as though the world is becoming very sensitive to everything, and that’s probably true. But avoiding these simple comments or points of topic without invitation is an easy way to not offend or upset someone. Try and remember that everyone is different and although these things might not bother you they’re probably prone to piss someone off.
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